MARIE:

Today, I am going to give my thoughts on swinging from the female's perspective. Even though I don't claim to represent every woman, I do welcome your comments on this piece.

As many are aware, the general public views swinging as a sexual deviation which most are totally unfamiliar with. Because of this, talking about one's swinging experiences with other women is almost impossible. Unfortunately, women don't express sex openly like their male counterparts. Because of this, until a woman develops friends within the lifestyle, they might feel very isolated. Men seem to adapt better only because they are raised different socially.

As a woman, I was very concerned with my self-respect at first. I didn't want to be considered a slut or a prude for that matter, and just because I felt awkward, I was concerned about not making those around me feel awkward. In other words, I considered it to be my problem, my hang-up.

I wanted my partner to be comfortable. I have to admit that hiding your feelings from your partner has to be the most difficult undertaking. I found it unbearable to pretend, but until we developed a system of signals between us, I couldn't exactly announce my concerns in front of a couple I've just met.

For me, my AIDS phobia gets in the way. Even though AIDS is not a big problem among swingers, I admit I go overboard sometimes, and it is up to Magic to bring me back to "reasonable" precautions. I personally like couples who have been together for years and have a stable relationship where they love and respect each other. Okay, I know what some of you are thinking, "If the couple has that, why swing?" Well, after a while, it is NOT enough for many. Magic puts it this way:

"It is within our nature to grow and change. If this is the case, wouldn't our relationships grow and change as well ?"

We are all made up of many facets, some of us are rather simple and some of us, like Magic, are quite complex human beings. In our society, we are raised with the myth that someday we will find this "one" person who satisfies every facet of our being. When this happens, we will never have need of any form of intimacy with anyone else for the rest of our lives. Does this sound familiar to you ladies?

That is how I was raised. Now that I've journeyed down the path of life, I have learned it is a "nice fantasy." I'm sure some of us find this and are quite happy, but what do the rest of us do? Just because one wants to have physical sexual enjoyment with another person doesn't mean you're ready to leave you partner. Nor does it mean your husband is going to leave you for some 20-year-old blonde, with a killer body either. There is a lot to be said about having a history with someone.

The truth is, you may trust your partner, however, you may have trouble developing trust with a couple you've just met and with whom you are supposed to enjoy sex with in a matter of hours, days, or weeks. If I sense frustration from the other woman or I feel she doesn't understand why her husband wants to swing, I try to give the couple room to work it out. New swingers need leeway, and I give it to them. After all, I still remember what it was like to be a newbie.

Occasionally, even after all this time, I still get a little flustered when a couple we've just met expects me to just take off my clothes whether or not we have developed rapport. However, sometimes Magic has developed this rapport with them. This simple act will usually squelch my inhibitions. Why? I trust my partner. This trust not only came from our relationship, but it also came from being swingers. Swinging, by its very nature, pushes you to grow and to overcome your fears, inhibitions, and insecurities.

When I'm with a man I feel attracted too, I'm as quick to get caught up in the passion of the moment as anyone. I find myself content at sitting on the floor at a man's feet and playfully licking and sucking his cock. I try to cater my reactions to his responses, and I find myself starving for him as I suck on his balls. I'm prone to cumming when I sense a man is fully enjoying the pleasure I'm giving him. I find a wonderful contentment, if I can taste a man's cum and experience the delight of swallowing. I am very frisky that way. Magic isn't threatened to see me as I pleasure someone besides him for a change. What turns him on is the fact I am enjoying myself. It's interesting how I can excite everyone else in the room as I pleasure myself most of all. Often, everyone gets so excited that they don't even realize how much I'm getting from the experience.

Women can be quite pleasurable too. I have developed quite a taste for pussy. I enjoy seeing a woman lose control at the feel of my tongue on her clit. I learned this really nice technique from Magic of grabbing it with your lips, sucking it into your mouth, then flicking the very tip of your tongue up and down light and fast over it.

If you have the oral dexterity you can also roll your lips from side to side at the same time. It really takes some practice, but once you have it down it will drive just about any woman mad. When that happens, I enjoy feeling her orgasm and knowing I can please her.

Sex with both men and women can be fun, and I'm glad I'm not a man.

What really makes the experience special? Most men never get to enjoy both sexes. It is one of those things our society just doesn't condone. Being a bisexual woman in swinging is actually a benefit, if not easier and more fun. I have experienced a woman's lust and a man's lust, and both are unique and beautiful. I truly hope more women can shed their inhibitions to get the enjoyment and fulfillment they deserve. Go slow if you have to. Let your man know you want to enjoy the woman before he does, if this is what it will take to make you more comfortable. In life, never pass up an opportunity for pleasure.

Communication is important. If you're uncomfortable, let your man know in the gentlest of ways, then take some responsibility for your own pleasure and set the pace.

As women, we have an incredible capacity to love and have sex. Don't set yourself up to be victimized by your upbringing or the lifestyle. If you're not getting what you need, then you must do something to change it. Don't be afraid to experiment. The smartest thing you can do is to seek the aid and advice of another experienced female swing veteran. Ideally, you should be able to share your fantasies with your man; but, as we all know, it is not an ideal world. If you don't take upon yourself some control over the situations you take part in, then you will never be enlightened to the lifestyle's immense possibilities.

Magic and I have grown since being in the lifestyle. Unlike many, he was honest from the beginning about his being a lifestyle swinger. I entered this relationship knowing this was part of his world, and I was going to be expected to be a part of it. This is different than being married to someone and they then inform you that they want to move into the swing world. So, for me, the transition was easier since Magic has always needed more sexual stimulation than I could supply anyway.

As a couple, we have branched into S&M. I never realized how intensely we would get caught up in sexual variations. As I look back on it, I've grown through swinging. I don't pine over the loss of my youth, instead I revel in my maturity. I am no longer shocked by all the things I used to do when I was younger, nor do I giggle like a dolt anymore, thank God. My morality hasn't changed. I've never tried to steal away another woman's man, and I've never taken advantage of any naïve youth. I am neither promiscuous nor without conscience.

MAGIC:

Your uniqueness, your style, and your self-esteem are the assets with which you have upon entering the swing world. The growth and pleasure which free sexual expression can give you doesn't take away self-esteem. In my view, it builds it. There is nothing like watching a swing virgin discover that after 15 years of marriage and a few kids, she still is not only desirable to other people but she still can be a sexual person, wife, and mother. Somewhere along the way in life we forget these things. Our society fosters the notion that to be "Mom" is to be sexless, and to be a "good girl" is to deny your sensual and sexual potential. Sorry, I think that is not only wrong but cruel also.

MARIE:

Don't sacrifice what you could be because of your insecurities. Swinging is NOT a place for chronically insecure people, for in this adventure you will be expected to face your fears and that which makes you uncomfortable. The whole point is to face them and put them behind you. I touched on this earlier, and now I want to go back to it. If your husband comes home and says he wants to try swinging, the worse thing you can do is to shut him out.

One of the sad truths I have witnessed, and I know I'm going to catch hell for this, is if you think by saying "NO" you're going to keep him from being stolen away by some young pretty blonde, you are fooling yourself. If anything, in this one single act, you have just shoved the man you love away from you spiritually. Granted, many men will keep their oaths and be faithful "sexually," but spiritually you may have just lost him.

Growth is inevitable in any relationship, and when you try to keep things "safe" and predictable, eventually people outgrow you. By going into swinging with a closed mind or with the attitude that someone more desirable will steal him away, you are guaranteeing it may happen. It won't be swinging's fault or his fault, it will be yours because you didn't fight your insecurities. I've seen women turn into shrews at swing functions and then wonder why their man (partner) has cut themselves off from them. When it comes to swinging, a "don't leave me" death grip is the worst thing you can do.

As women, our relationships are important to us, but when your man (woman) wants to journey down this path, if you want to keep the relationship, you best go with them. For, once a relationship comes to this point, you may be damned if you do and damned if you don't. In my view, I would feel a lot better off if I was damned for trying to give my partner the growth and freedom they needed. Insecurity is just plain fear. So, what will it be? Are you to be ruled by your fears, or rule over your fears? The latter should lead to shared intimacy of you, your partner, and others.

What you will learn along the way will be invaluable to you, strengthen you,

and allow you to participate without being scared. Learn and grow from this, but also use your instincts too. There are certain people who will be loyal allies, and those that you won't be able to trust. By opening your mind and your heart, you do indeed take great risks. However, from where I sit, you take an even greater risk by sticking your head in the sand, trying to protect the constructs of your current reality.

My relationship with Magic makes me feel good about his adventures because, in the end, I'm the one he comes home to. Last night he called me from the Swing Convention, Reflections. Unfortunately, because of a work situation, I couldn't attend, so he went with a dear friend of ours named "Marnie" who lives in Florida.

It was about 11 P.M. when the phone rang. I had been laying in bed feeling kind of horny when I picked up the phone.

"Hello", I said.

There was the sound of heavy breathing and a female voice I recognized.

"Hi Marie, this is Marnie. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. I really miss being there, but I'll live. What's up with you guys?"

"Well, uh," she groaned, "Magic felt you might want to share the fun for a bit." Marnie was starting to become rather breathless.

"So, where is that bad boy of mine," I asked, but I already had a serious suspicion I knew not only where he was but in "whom" as well. About then Marnie made a sharp cry before she continued. My nipples were already hard and my clit started to swell.

"He's behind me, here on the bed, with his cock inside my pussy."

"Why am I not surprised," I laughed. In the background, I could hear Magic telling her to tell me what was happening. I reached up and began to caress my hardened nipples with my fingertips. Marnie's whimper of pleasure echoed forth as she began.

"I'm on the bed on all fours. Magic's cock is slowly moving in and out of my wet pussy. Oh, it feels so good and it's so hot. Beneath me, Mary is licking my clit and his balls. Oh, God, yes.lick it slut." Marnie said a couple of words I didn't understand, then she continued.

"Oh, yes.please fuck it. Oh, oh, it feels so good. Her tongue is flicking up and down on my clit. I can feel her slurping up my juices off of his cock. He's moving so slowly he's driving me insane." Listening to Marnie, I began to roll my nipples between my thumb and forefinger, sending cascades of pleasure through my body. A few moments later, I heard her grunting in earnest as he began to fuck her harder. I could hear her cries of passion and her telling him to "fuck me, fuck me hard." There was a sudden rustling sound, then I heard Magic's familiar smooth baritone voice.

"Hi, honey, I wish you were here."

"Yes," I said, "sounds like I'm missing a good time ."

"Well," he began, "that's why I'm calling. I wanted to share it with you."

In the background I could hear Marnie's cries of passion, and I could tell she was getting it good. Personally, I know what that cock can do, and the memory made my clit throb even more. Reaching down, I began to finger it.

"Is it wet?" asked Magic in his uniquely seductive voice.

"Yes, and I'm playing with it."

"Good," he said. "Mary's now licking my shaft as I'm fucking Marnie from behind. I can feel her hot tongue dancing along the bottom of it and up to her clit, then back again. Now I'm ramming my cock hard into her pussy and she's starting to cum." In the background, I could hear her going off like a Roman candle.

"Oh, yes," he said, "Mary is now sucking on my cock."

I could hear the lewd sounds she was making. "She's licking off Marnie's juices. Oh, yeah baby, lick it. Lick her up. Marnie has now gone down on her while she's swallowing me. Oh, love, I wish you were here to see how Mary's fucking my cock with her mouth." My fingers were now moving frantically within my pussy, as I visualized what was going on. I could see myself as I have before, wrapping my tongue around Mary's clit as she sucked off my man.

It was about then that I heard muffled cries, as I knew Mary was starting to cum with Magic's cock still in her mouth. The thought and visualization of it all sent me over the edge, as well. The tidal wave of pleasure hit me and took me away as I dropped the phone. My back arched as I road the wave, my hips doing a little dance. When I came back, I picked up the phone to hear screams of loud, lewd passion as Mary and Marnie had at each other while Magic spanked them both. Afterward, he sat in a corner in a chair and we talked.

I don't know what the future holds for Magic and me, but I do know this, relationships mature and so do people. If someday Magic and I are no longer together, I can honestly say it wasn't because of the swinging. It will probably be because of, well, life!

MAGIC:

The Reflections Convention was a nice time. It was held March 20-23 in Daytona Beach, and I got to meet some wonderful people. As conventions go, Reflections pulls a more mature East Coast crowd than some of the other events. I'd have to say the basic age range was 45 and up, with a sprinkling of us spring chickens. I was one of the youngest people there. Tom and Lynda Gayle do a nice job overall in putting this event together.

Before I move on I'd like to say a hello to:

Tom and Lynda Gayle, Steve and Dee Dee (love that woman, all 4'9" of her,) Cole and Susie (sorry guys, I wanted to get together...looks like I'll have to come to Miss. to party,) Cline and Marsha (so what do you think now Marsha?), and everyone else who I don't have time nor space to name.

I regret: It is unfortunate, but we couldn't make Visions which this year was in Tampa. Ray and Holly work so hard for that event.

As the year rolls on, there are still more events to happen, Lifestyles, The Fall Ball, Dominion 97 (hello Midian and tuka,) Conclave 97-½, and Diversions.

For those of you who can't make it, well you can always read about the parties here in the pages of Odyssey, so make sure your subscription is up to date.

Until next time,

Magic & Marie