I have had an usual life. I've been many places seen many things. Most importantly, I have learned countless lessons of human existence. One of them being: "What we see of the world, is who we are." Every time I open my "swing" mail I keep this in mind as I read the different letters I get from across the world.

Once of the down sides of correspondence is the chance for misunderstandings. Often the receiver takes the way you meant something totally different. Frankly, this is a real pain in the ass. We are all subject to our experiences. These experiences form the bases of not only who we are, but also how we react. I'm sure we have all said something to someone who ordinarily would be considered harmless only to have them interpret differently and blow up in your face. Usually, the force of their anger and often their hate is like a whirlwind coming out of nowhere.

If you're new to the adult ads world it can startle you the first time it happens to you. In the world of the Internet it is called FLAMING. Whatever you call it, the results do wound. I remember a lady who answered one of our ads and proceeded to tell us that she was a submissive and fantasized about getting together with my partner and me.

Now those of us who have been around this scene awhile know you don't get too graphic on the first reply to someone answering your ad. We responded with a polite, not too graphic letter, and pictures. In our response we asked certain things of her which we as advertisers have the right to do. For example: "Please tell us more about your fantasies, secret desires and what you want from us. Two months go by and we finally get this letter saying she finds our imaginations (what we'd do to her) "lacking" and my "dick size was a waist of her time". What was sad was the amount of bile, which spewed forth from her letter. We were at a loss as to why she wrote in the first place. Our Ad is rather specific and it states quite clearly that I'm a regular guy (6 inches).

Look around you, we've all noticed the increase in hate, prejudice and lack of good will. It greets us every morning with the news. It travels with us to work as we commute. The Car next to you cuts you off so he (or she) can get one car space ahead. It is there in the office, a job you hate and a boss that loves to lord over you. Have you noticed, you take less sick days because you're afraid if there are cut backs they will notice?

We may have triggered her response, but we didn't create her anger. It's hard to remember this simple fact, when it happens to you. I will the first to admit, as advertisers, we are a little demanding. We want to immediately separate the bull shitter's from the seriously sincere people. If you've answered an ad or get mail, you have experienced having your time wasted. I know what it is like not to have your photos returned, when you discover the person you've written to, has ripped you off. We've been there.

When dealing with other people we have to deal with their baggage also. Many people have a negative view of the universe. Thus, for them, seeing is believing. But despite all the phonies, wackos and bull shitters, there are the genuine articles. People, who not only are what you seek, but are also for REAL. This makes up for the percentage of wasted time and effort.

If your having no luck, don't get discouraged. Keep trying, looking, answering or advertising, because eventually you have to succeed. Otherwise, make some positive changes within yourself first, then try and improve the world around you. But remember, no matter how hard you try, you can't escape a basic human truth:

"What we see of the world, is who we are."