3 and I thought I’d marry this one
Some people in life do not handle change very well. Many of these people based upon their life experience see it as something to fear or it’s an immediate negative emotional trigger. I have always prided myself on my ability to embrace change. To understand that it is a part of the universe and a part of the concept of “Entropy”.
“Everything in the universe goes from a state of order to
disorder unless force or effort is applied to it.”
This year I had a change in my personal universe and I have to admit it’s a change I didn’t expect. I’d be emotionally dishonest with myself and you if I said it’s all good and I can embrace it with no reluctance. Truth is I don’t want to and I think I shouldn’t have to, but Magic’s 99th law most definitely applies here:
Magic’s Law 99:
“The universe doesn’t give a shit what Magic thinks”.
The other day I was at a Munch when a sub came up to speak to me about her relationship and ask me for some relationship advice. I looked at her smiled and
“Well if truth can only be proven by results”, then I am
certainly the wrong person to ask if I couldn’t even keep my own relationship from falling pry to the law of Entropy.”
This being a fact of reality and since I try to be consistent in the principles of which I live by; I might as well give up the hobby of talking and writing about relationships. There is a saying, which comes to mind:
“Those who can “do” and those who can’t “teach”".
Well boys and girls call me professor Magic!!
Oh and by the way, until further notice relationships 101 and 201 have been postponed indefinitely. Since in life I measure by “results” the cold hard facts are I have failed my own freaking course.
The part of me that seeks enlightenment says “this too shall pass and that we must take the lessons of this failure and forge ahead better and stronger.”
I want to bitch slap Mr. Enlightenment it into a dark ugly corner of my mind stick a ball gag in it’s mouth and tell it to shut hell up. I am angry, I am hurt, I’m human, I have XY chromosomes (I’m a male) and I want to kill something!
So far I’ve been through a 1500 rounds of 7.62×39 (Ak-47 ammo for you lay people) and I have to tell you, it hasn’t helped! Although I must admit lately the pick up driving Dixie Flag waving Rednecks at the local gun range been steering a wide birth around me when I come in. Hummm I wonder why ?
Can I honestly say I did the best I could to fix it? Yes I did. Did I bring the problem to the attention of the other party, Yes. Did I reach out? Yes? Did I bang my head against their walls and rang their doorbell? Yes. But there comes a point when you realize my head is not a battering ram and maybe that’s why I have a headache.
There was a moment when I was led to believe we would reconcile and rebuild and I did ask “so what are your rules for love” ? She said, “I don’t know”.
At that moment I had a sinking feeling I was FUCKED. In addition the realization hit me I was in what is called a “double bind.” Oddly enough there is an interesting lesson for me out of this. Maybe I should ask that question at the “beginning” of a relationship and not when I’m trying to disprove Universal law of Entropy at the end.
Ok…. all together now…. “DUH!” laugh
I’m not going to indulge or degenerate into a “whoa is me” pity party. After all that’s what a good bottle of Rum and sitting around in your underwear for 5 days without a shower is for. But I am going to pass on a little tid bit which may do someone else some good. I cannot deny there were a few other issues, which contributed to things however ladies let me share something with you.
For the most part, we men are genetically predisposed to want to make our women happy. Get a group of 10 men together and ask them all one simple question.
“When your woman isn’t happy how does that make you feel?”
Generally speaking in unison most men will say “like shit”! Correspondingly when we’re doing it right and you’re on cloud 9 we feel like Leonardo DiCaprio on the bow of the Titanic screaming “I’m the King of the world”! Well, don’t be surprised if you ask a man to marry you, if he takes some time to think about it. I know, you’re probably saying, “think about it”?
Remember men are logic based testosterone driven creatures, how we feel often is an after thought in many situations. Most men have heard this refrain from their fathers, “it doesn’t matter how you feel about it Mr. get it done!” Here’s the part as women, you may not immediately get. As men, we have to know and have reasonable confidence we can continue to be successful at making you happy. If we cannot quantify this, many of us will pull away.
Others will seek to understand, analyze or come to grips with what is it that we do, which makes us a success. As a generalization we need break it down and know “I got this” and this is NOT a fluke. As in sports or busniess we need to know we can replicate this over and over then we’re going to come back and say “yes”.
As women I suspect you’re going to perceive this process in a
completely different way and may even see it as a form of rejection. I can’t speak for all situations but in many it’s not. But as we all know it is a general rule, women tend to respond to feelings (emotions) first. Therefore ladies, don’t be put off if he takes a while to think it over. As for you gentlemen, don’t do what I did and take four months to figure it out and say yes.
I am a Leather Dom, I am a man and I am human. I make no bones about a very simple truth, I am very flawed man.
It is said the path to enlightenment is a long arduous journey, if this be true then I suspect the starting line is still but a few steps behind me.